Friday, October 9, 2009

Dear Mr. President:

First of all, congratulations on your Nobel Peace Prize. Pretty big honor, especially to have attained in nine months in office.

Most of America, and, let's face it, probably the rest of the world is a little dubious as to whether you deserve this. Hell, YOU'RE probably wondering, "How the fuck did I pull this off?!? Seriously?!?!?"

Well, Mr. President, even though your track record of, say, fulfilling your campaign promises is still HAVE made some important changes.

You're working pretty hard on changing the tone we have been using towards the Muslim world, and that's pretty awesome. God knows, Bush did literally nothing to try to reach out to the Muslim world, instead doing, well, a lot to keep us really disliked by the people of the rest of the world in general. (And, non-President types reading this: Bush sucked at diplomacy. Not everything he did was bad, but, Jesus, he just didn't do the diplomatic thing well AT ALL. Grow up, realize we all have weaknesses and that that is one of his, and save your hysterical whining about how unfair I am for somewhere else [like your head, not my comment box] so I don't have to read it. Unless you have some irrefutable, non partisan proof to show me otherwise, and then I will humbly eat crow. But that's not gonna happen, I wager.)

Iran, especially, is responding to us in a better way than they have in a long time. Yes, the leader is still a nutcase. He is. But I've always thought of him as a child throwing a huge tantrum on the floor of the World. Kicking, screaming, threatening. Well, Obama, you've been willing to treat him differently. Instead of the angry parent spanking the country (to continue my metaphor here) for discipline, you reached out to them, and talked to them. You've even made an open video to Iran and its people on their new year (check it here.) I assure you, with kids, this gets better results. It seems to with Iranian leaders, too. Click here for something on that (it's an opinion piece, but it isn't super pro-Obama, and it explains things fairly well.)

In fact, we're the most admired country in polls, better than our 7th place prior. So even if not everyone at home is thrilled with you, Mr. President, again, our foreign affairs are doing pretty well.

But you've got a long way to go, baby.

I'm hoping that you step up now and earn this prize. That you:
*Close Guantanamo Bay
Remember how to pledged to do this, Mr. President? The time has come.
*Work on exiting Iraq
Listen, I get it. You can't just pull everyone from the country just because. We went in there, and even though you and I both disagreed with doing it, we have to finish what we started, in that we have to render the country able to handle itself. But let's get an exit strategy going. Maybe work on strengthening the Iraqi government so that they can take over? But let's not keep just going along with all this. You have brilliant military people at your disposal. Meet with them.
*Fix Afghanistan
Remember? Our first war? It's becoming a big war albatross. Those brilliant military minds? Keep utilizing them, straighten this shit out.
*Keep working on climate issues
Many other countries think we're asses for being so blind about the issues with the Earth as a whole. Hell, I bet someone reading this blog is thinking about how further studies are needed, we're just in a normal pattern, et cetera. We're not. We need to green our country, and the planet as a whole.
*Forget mending fences with jaded Republicans
They hate you simply because you're liked. You can't win them all, Mr. President. So, reach out to...and include...Republicans who can actually bother to think for themselves and compromise. And fuck the rest. They're unchangeable. I give you credit, you've tried pretty hard to be a people pleaser in that respect. But people who are going to continually be petty and unhappy just because their dude didn't win won't give you an inch. See them as the children they are, and learn to only deal with adults.

Just some suggestions, Mr. President. Because, seriously, you have three more years, and this is one of your few laurels. Instead of resting, show everyone that - fuck yeah, you deserve this shit. Convince us all. I'm rooting for you.


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