Monday, February 28, 2011

I am a better songwriter than Bruno Mars

Grenade by Bruno Mars is the dumbest song ever.

Seriously. Why is this one of the top songs right now? WHY?!? It's cheesy crap, y'all, AND IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A GOOD BEAT.

And the lyrics...oh, the lyrics.

Here's the chorus:

I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same

Ok, first of all, thanks for catching that grenade for me and all, Bruno, but if you just stand there holding the presumably live grenade you just caught for me, don't we both just blow up? So now we're both dead. Awesome. Next time, knock the grenade away, or throw it back, or something. But you can't. Because you're dead. And where does Bruno Mars live, exactly, that live grenades are being tossed around?

Secondly, throwing your hand on a blade isn't that impressive. I've cut my hand before and lots of things suck worse than a clean cut to the hand. Like paper cuts. Bunches of them. And then swimming in the ocean. That would be torture. Also, I had a paper cut on my tongue the other day, and that sucked.

Now jumping in front of a train...what situation would this possibly be necessary in? Is some guy with a handlebar mustache tying me to the tracks? Is that what's going down here? Or am I just randomly standing in the path of a train? In either of those cases, removing me from the tracks would make more sense than jumping in front of it, Bruno. FFS, do you have a death wish?

Blah, blah, blah...more nonsense...and then we end with "but you won't do the same!" No, Bruno, I won't commit pointless suicide or cut my hand for you. Sorry. Go watch Twilight and root for Jacob or something, emo kid.

I would also like to point out that this is on an album called Doo-Wops and Hooligans. I can't even make that shit up.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

If you're not pissed off, you're not paying attention

I know a lot of Republicans. Several of them are friends and family that I dearly love. I disagree with most of them quite often.

But we shouldn't disagree about the horrible effects that this new budget the House has proposed will have on America.

Much has been published about a few things that the House has cut in their "60 billion dollar cuts!!!!" But most people are just talking about one or two things. Here's a list of some of the worst parts of the House budget:

*Dismantles the ability to roll out health care reform
I know, I know, many of you have issues with HCR. But hear me out on this. Insurance companies and employers have already begun to amend some things for the roll out of HCR (which the nonpartisan CBO said in an updated assessment that repealing the healthcare law would actually drive up federal deficits by $210 billion by 2021 and leave 22 million more Americans without health insurance.) So, basically, you have a program that has begun suddenly stopping. What yu will see is rising costs and lower coverage, folks. That will occur. And there will be nothing to check it. Good times.

*No funding for Planned Parenthood
Planned Parenthood is NOT an abortion services provider. PP's services only entail about 3% of their business. Honestly, I heard more discussion of abortions at my ob/gyn while pregnant than I ever did at PP. What they do provide, however, are birth control, STD testing/treatments, pap smears, resources for raped women, infertility testing...the list actually goes on and on. Especially to the millions of uninsured Americans, Planned Parenthood is incredibly important.

*A 10% cut in WIC
WIC is a supplemental nutrition program for pregnant women, infants and children. Unlike food stamps, which cover any cold food item you wish, WIC seeks to help people make healthy choices. Nutrition counselling is provided. Food items given through checks are healthy ones like whole grain breads, cheese, milk, beans, fruits and vegetables. WICs also provide breastfeeding support to nursing, low income mothers. This is HUGE - lactation consultants are very pricey, generally women see one once in the hospital and then can't any more because most insurance programs don't cover them. WIC encourages local offices to have an IBCLC on staff and, pretty soon, will be REQUIRING offices to have at least a peer counselor available to talk to prenatal women about the importance of breastfeeding and help them with issues or refer them to others who can that they can afford. WIC also gives and rents breastpumps to working moms who wouldn't be able to afford them otherwise. I can't even begin to tell you how many women tell me that WIC saved their breastfeeding relationship. And, yes, WIC provides formula too. As a mom who had to supplement with her first for a variety of reasons, and had absolutely not budgeted in formula because she only planned to breastfeed, that was a lifesaver.

*Head Start/Early Head Start cuts by 15% PLUS expiration of ARRA funds
Head Start is something that I truly cannot speak highly enough about. It's literally the only early childhood education program for lower income families that has the quality of a private preschool. Head Start is mandated to have a certain amount of staff slots held by degreed teachers; they provide balanced meals to the children; the kids watch no TV, they are actively engaged in learning...the list goes on and on. My daughter goes to Head Start and she has blossomed in so many ways; socially, developmentally, etc. Head Start also reserves slots for children with disabilities and children who are homeless. Early Head Start covers birth to age 3, and, let me tell you - if I had to work and couldn't take Keira, that is the ONLY non-family environment that I would feel comfortable leaving her in. These cuts will mean that ove 200,000 children nationwide will lose their seats. Families will lose their daycare; teachers will lose their jobs.

*K-12 Education - cuts of about 2.1 billion dollars
This is explained really well in this article. Basically, I hope you had no lofty aspirations of your kids having decent schooling under the GOP, because it ain't happening.

*Pell Grants - 24% cuts
Hey! I have a great idea! Let's go ahead and cut funding for higher education in a shit economy when non degreed jobs are closing down in droves or going overseas! Yay! Great plan! Oh! And let's continue cutting it from 2014 on, because no one really need education except rich people. And it's totes not our fault if you're poor, Americans. Yeah, even you, 18 year old. You SHOULD HAVE BEEN BORN IN A WEALTHIER FAMILY.

Other things on the chopping block include weatherization programs, energy assistance programs, the FDA, the EPA, vo-tech and adult education and many, many, many more.

And let's talk about the job impacts of all of this one more time. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE THINGS BEING CUT WILL MEAN JOB CUTS. Job cuts in a crappy economy where unemployment is sky-high and places close down daily. The weatherization program, for instance, keeps contactors working in winter months. The Republicans were supposed to help fix this - yet Boehner said that if jobs were lost "so be it."

So be it?!?!? SERIOUSLY??!?!?!?!?!? Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit.

This is not acceptable. At all.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Bieber and Palin and Bachmann oh my.

Ahhhh Justin Bieber.

First of all, I want to preface this blog by saying that I'm totally neutral on the Biebs. I don't have the fever, but I don't hate him. He seems like a pretty normal 16 year old kid, which in itself is saying something, since half the world wants to fall at his feet and weep. So whatever. The only time I really ever remember he exists is when something reminds me. A song on the radio, a commercial...a scandal...

This week, Rolling Stone (desperately trying to stay edgy and relevant) published an interview with the Biebs, in which they asked him all about his opinions on health care, abortion and gays. Because, you know, every 16 year old has great, informed opinions on those things. And then all hell broke loose.

Nonsense I've read about Justin Bieber's opinion on abortion this week includes:
"I'm boycotting Justin now. I just can't like someone who is so anti-choice."
"Justin Bieber has set back reproductive rights."
"Justin Bieber shouldn't even get an opinion on abortion!"
"Justin Bieber is oppressing women!'

Ok, first of all, let's talk about what Justin actually said. I have the magazine right here in my hot little hands (I got a free subscription, don't hate) and he says, "I really don't believe in abortion. I think [an embryo] is a human. It's like killing a baby." When asked about rape, he says, "Um. Well, I think that's just really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don't know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven't been in that position, so I wouldn't be able to judge that."

Alright, hysterical folks. Let's talk about this for a second. Justin Bieber is allowed to have an opinion, even on abortion, even though he's young and probably quasi dumb as all 16 year olds are. And this isn't a horrifyingly anti-choice opinion. Yes, he doesn't like it, but who cares? He also seems to sort of see some grey area, which is a lot more than most adults I know. And he's very Christian, which doesn't always go hand in hand with pro-choiceness. For a Christian kid, his ideas are actually fairly liberal.

Why does it even matter, anyways? He's not a politician. He's a fucking pop star. When the Biebs gets on the Supreme Court, I'll worry that he's a little more conservative in his views than me. Until then, whatev. I'm actually more horrified that he thinks the moon landing might be a hoax than that he's not all for abortion.

And on to more quasi celebrity news.

Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann are pissing me clean the fuck off. I don't give a shit how much they hate Obama. But let's stop acting like incredibly huge, overly privileged asshats. Women shouldn't be able to claim tax exemptions on pumps because it'll turn us into a nanny state? What. The. Fuck. And Palin, who has been all about how she nursed in the past is suddenly like a breastfeeding opponent because Obama is for it. FFS, are we 10, ladies? The Obamas don' t have cooties, and I didn't see anyone bitching about Laura Bush campaigning for literacy. Let's just stop acting like insane douchebags and focus on real issues instead of quibbling over breastfeeding. And, Republicans - please stop giving these hysterical bitches the right to make all of you look like morons. Find some intelligent women to represent you and distance yourself from these fools.

In totally unrelated news, I am a busy mofo. Work, full time school, a sick kid and a breastfeeding campaign launch...I've got a LOT going on. Thank god, Shane is being a champion and helping SO much this week. I couldn't do it without him. I am very lucky to have him and I can't wait to marry him.