Mean Girls

I love the movie Mean Girls. Love it. I think it's hilarious. I've probably seen it nine or ten times, and the crazy, over the top shit that Lindsey Lohan does in her quest to rule the Plastics always amused me a hyperbole of a normal high school life.

I don't like it when it's reality, though.

Today at work, some craziness went down. A co-worker of mine that I've always respected and liked went off on another co-worker that I again respect and like. It was a horrible bitch out fest that involved a lot of four letter words but no real explanation from the yeller and a lot of confusion and hurt from the yellee, who had no idea what she'd done to merit such a verbal smackdown. She was upset enough that she spent most of the afternoon crying, on and off. Not really like her at all.

It was bad, it happened, and that was the end. Right?

No.

The woman who got yelled at was confused and upset, and ruminating on what happened, trying desperately to understand what she'd done. Meanwhile, another co-worker...one who works closely with the woman who got yelled at but is close friends with the woman who did the yelling (sorry, I know it's confusing, but I don't like naming names in public blogs) was going around, running her mouth to everyone on Earth about why her friend had screamed at her co-worker. She told everyone except for the person who was yelled at, myself, and my two closest friends at work.

So the rumor mill swirled and swirled, until it came to rest on me and my friends. When we found out the alleged reason behind everything, one of us told the co-worker who'd been yelled at. Why perpetrate the rumors? Well, this girl was killing herself thinking about this, and if you've ever had a situation like that, you know it would have plagued her all weekend. So, we told her, but we also all agreed that there had to be some other reasoning somewhere there. What we heard seemed like a really dumb reason to go off on someone, and the person who did the yelling...well, that behavior is highly uncharacteristic of her. We hadn't noticed any real tension before, and she had some personal shit going down. I believed it likely that come Monday, the women involved would talk it out, and everything would be settled.

But what's happening until then....it's outrageous.

My entire workplace seems to have taken sides, like this is some great battle of the ages that requires them to be soldiers. I would not have been surprised to hear that someone had shown up in a "Team (unnamed person)" shirt. Grown women (we are all over twenty, and the people doing most of this are in their late thirties to early forties) were essentially hazing anyone there that they thought weren't on the side of the yeller. And the yellee? They spent half the afternoon plotting ways to make her last few hours at work totally miserable. Even worse, one of my friends...who is as neutral in this as Sweden...was treated like a pariah simply for not taking up the flag of the yeller and refusing to be an ass to the yellee. It's gone beyond loyalty to a friend and into the realm of psychotic religious fervor, almost. And it's ridiculous. Some of these women are IN THEIR FORTIES. We can't figure out a less shrew-like way to act by then?!?!?!? Seriously?!?!?!?!?

Worst, I don't think that the woman who did the yelling would want everyone to be taking sides and showing their asses. I imagine that, if left to her own devices, she would probably end up feeling like she should have handled it more maturely, come in Monday, and dealt with it more maturely. Unfortunately, I believe that her friends will do her the disservice of telling her that she was totally right and perfect and nothing she did was at all wrong, and it will bolster her up past her thoughts of "Jesus, maybe I fucked that up by letting my emotions get the best of me." It will instead turn into some self righteous nonsense on her part, all because of an over-zealous group mentality. And that's ridiculous.

You know, I can't think of a single time where I've seen men behave this ridiculously. They may bitch someone out, but they don't feel the need, generally, to gang up and take sides and act foolish over it. They deal with it and move on. Since women are supposed to be more mature, why the hell are we the ones acting like idiots? Well, I swear, I'm done. I'm sure I've been as stupid before as everyone acted today, but, you know what? I'm not going to be that person anymore. Because seeing it from the outside in just reinforces to me how ugly it is. And I never, ever want to be as ugly as the women I saw today were. Externally, they could have all been Giselle, and that behavior would have twisted them into cracked out, makeupless Amy Winehouse with Rosie O'Donnell's body and Paris Hilton's wonky eye.