Having a second kid is balls hard.
No one said that, while I was pregnant. I got hearts and flowers stories of sisterhood, and siblings being best friends and crap like that.
Don't get me wrong - Rhi loveslovesloves Keira, and there are probably 5,000 adorable moments a day that make me go, "Awwww, sisters."
But it's still hard.
No one explained to me that housework is damn near impossible with a toddler and a newborn. And I have a wrap, so I get a little more done than I would otherwise. But ohmygod. Try to do dishes with one kid strapped to your chest while the other one is on a chair next to you demanding that you help her feed her fish and damn near falling off in her exuberance. It doesn't work well. And playing Shrek with your eldest while nursing your youngest is a real treat. Inevitably, someone gets pissed at me - either Keira, because her latch gets screwed up, or Rhi because "Mommy! You have to be Donkey AND Fiona! And make Fiona dance with me. Mommy! Mommy, you're not listening!"
Also, I don't have a "real" vacuum. I did, but somehow, in the move, it lost important parts, like the brush and the brush guard. We have a mini car vac that I use to vacuum. I haven't replaced this yet because I don't really want carpet in the new house, so it's a moot point. And vacuuming on your hands and knees with two kids is impossible. In fact, even with the wrap, by the time I have one thing half done, Keira usually wants to nurse or something, Rhi has tried to "help" (sweet, but usually more of a hindrance than anything else) and I have decided that if I ever win the lottery, the very first thing I'm getting is a damn maid and why don't houses just self clean anyways?
Also, I still can't get the hang of dividing attention very well. And Rhiannon's budding interest in all things gymnastics and sporty is really not conducive to keeping babies safe. So I find myself saying no a lot. "No, Rhi. We don't throw the ball around our sister. No, Rhi, we can't do headstands on the same couch cushion Mommy is changing Keira on."
Incidentally, I used to be one of those "I won't use the word no because redirecting is way more effective anyways" moms. Yeah, it might be, but you try redirecting a toddler before she falls atop her newborn sister while pretending to be Lady Gaga (who she has never seen a picture of, and for some reason involves the same costume as Prince Naveen from Princess and the Frog) while singing and dancing to Bad Romance (which, in Rhi's version, goes, "I want your love and I want your fence you and me could have a bromance.")
That all said, I love both my kids tremendously, and Keira has brought all sorts of extra love and light into our family. She's already a character, with a plethora of expressions (that usually express disdain or concern for your mental health, lol.) She smiles a lot, she can hold up her head on her own, she can sometimes roll over - she is the most determined baby I have ever seen. You can just tell she loathes being immobile and not having words yet.
And Rhi is, of course, amazing. She's so smart and so fun, and everything about her just shines. She's taken to sisterhood way better than I imagined she would, since, until now, she has ruled the roost and been the number one star in everyone's sky. Right now, she seems content to make a spot in her galaxy for Keira, though - although that may change when Keira starts, you know, stealing her thunder or getting into her stuff.
1 comment:
It's only been a month dear. Give it time. It IS hard and had it not been for my wrap I really would have lost my mind. But right now, you are still learning how to to split yourself in 3 (Shane, Rhi, Keira) and still seem whole to each of them. Not easy. And Rhi is learning that you just can't do everything, but you still love her. And poor Keira, she's bombarded with sights and sounds and smells that aren't 'womb'! Forget the housework for now. Keep the place relatively sanitary and safe. Don't worry about organization or anything. Everything will come together soon enough! You're doing great.
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