Wednesday, June 23, 2010


Stop saving me from myself, please.

The Center For Science in the Public Interest announced plans to sue McDonalds if they don't remove toys from their Happy Meals, saying that the toys give kids "pester power" and "foster unhealthy eating habits."

Well, screw you, CSPI. I don't actually want, or need, your parenting help.

First of all, I find the concept of "pester power" laughable. You don't want to be pestered? Well, you are in the wrong profession then. My kid pesters me over a trillion things daily. It's called "being a child." Get over it.

Or, here's a novel concept - turn off your damn TV so they don't know that Shrek's in the Happy Meals.

I find the part about McDonald's fostering poor nutritional habits with these toys to be utterly offensive, though.

It's not McDonald's job to teach my kids how to be healthy. It's their job to sell quickly prepared, nutritiously crap food that appeals to you on a level of "This tastes good and is pretty cheap." Yeah, it's fatty and salty and high calorie and junk food. So what? Fast food isn't healthy. Oh noes! *rolls eyes*

It's not McDonald's, or CSPI, or anyone else's job to teach your child good nutrition. It's yours. You're the parent, so act like one. Your kid wants a Happy Meal? Learn the word no. Use it. It's not that hard. Jeez, if I let my kid decide what to eat, I'd live on a diet of ice cream, chocolate, bubble gum, peanut butter, spaghetti, chicken soup and cantaloupe. That's why she doesn't plan the menus in this house.

I feel the same way about Spongebob mac and cheese or Dora Spaghetti-Os. Your kid may have pester power, but you have the cash. A child won't die of heartbreak if her noodles don't look like Squidward. TELL HER NO. Tell her Spongebob lives in a damn pineapple and buy one of those instead.

There was a great quote in the article I read from a man who voted against a toy ban previously. He said, "If you can't control a 3-year-old child for a toy, God save you when they get to be teenagers."

I totally agree.

If your kid is fat and eats awful foods all the time (barring a medical condition,) it's because you aren't using the word no enough. No, you can't have a Happy Meal. No, you've watched enough TV, go play.

When did we become such wusses that we can't deny our children anything ever?

Kids not always getting their way is good for them. Know why? Because life isn't all rainbows and butterflies and they won't always get their way in it.

And as far as nutrition goes, if you're giving in on eating crap foods all the time, maybe it's time to tell your inner child no, too. No one eats healthily all the time because pizza and ice cream suck. They do it because they know that the half hour of "yum" isn't worth the damage to your body.

But this is something you can handle, parents. You don't need CSPI holding your hand.

Besides, ban toys in Happy Meals, and, I assure you, someone somewhere will come up with something else to make unhealthy things appeal to kids. That's why parenting is important. So FFS, stop kowtowing to your kids and do some.

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