Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

Is it just me, or does it seem like everyone else on Earth is having the kinkiest, most promiscuous sex ever?

Seriously.

Yesterday, I read a gossip site...you know, to catch up on my nonessential celebrity news (it's like candy for the brain, so don't judge) and there was all sorts of stuff about whether or not the Rhianna sex tape was really her or not. And it's not like that's isolated. There's the Kim Kardashian sex tape, the Paris Hilton sex tape (ewww at the thought of Paris Hilton having sex ever, btw) and a million others.

It's not just celebs, either. I am acquainted with at least ten people who regularly indulge in things like threesomes, swinging, video taping. And really, who hasn't sent a dirty picture via cell phone cam? Stuff like that seems to be alarmingly commonplace nowadays.

Don't get me wrong. I'm in no way a prude, nor anti-sex, nor do I judge anyone with multiple partners or websites or anything like that. It's all you, so have fun with that. But I can't see myself doing all of those things. I'm a fan of sex, but I've never had a one night stand, never been part of an orgy, never swapped. Maybe there's something odd about me, but I have a really hard time removing emotions from my sexual equation. If I'm going to have sex with you, I'm going to have to actually give a damn about you. Guy over there, you're eye candy, and, wow, my hormones rev when I see you...but I can't follow through, because I don't even know your last name, dude.

And threesomes...don't they seem like they'd be way less sexy outside of your fantasy? If you're experimenting with someone you care about, do you really, really, really want to see them enjoying someone else that way? And even if you're totally unlike me, and you can remove the whole emotional jealousy thing, what about practical things like STDs? Do you insist that each new partner be tested? Do you use extensive amounts of protection? Does all this crap take away at all from the experience in any way?

Seriously. I'm curious.

I also wonder if as many people are having all this crazy sex and honestly not experiencing any types of issues with it. But I guess, "Hey, I totally had a threesome then bitchsmacked the other chick because I caught my husband looking at her boobs in a way he no longer looks at mine," and "After we swapped with the Peterson's, Roger came out and ran away with Margie's husband," aren't as fun to hear, huh?

Maybe I'm pessimistic. Maybe I'm too logical. Maybe I'm too emotional. (How's that for convoluted, putting both of those in there, eh?) I don't feel like my sex life is boring, or vanilla, or like I'm not satisfying/satisfied in bed, but I also don't feel like it seems to fit in with the rest of the crazy shit out there. But, you know, I'm kind of fine with that.

And should the day come that I'm not, well, just be glad I'm not a celebrity, so you won't hear allllll about it. Lol.