Monday, September 19, 2011


Hi, I'm Star, and I have not slept more than 4 uninterrupted hours in about two years now.

My kid, you see, thwarted that at the end of my pregnancy, and continues to thwart it by night nursing like constantly.

Sleep and I are also at an odds. I mean, I've read all the studies. I know I'm, like, prematurely aging myself and probably inviting coronary disease and all sorts of nonsense by not sleeping enough (I average like six hours a night.) And my body wants sleep. Desperately.

But sleeping feels like something that's a luxury. Once I wake up, I can't nap or anything. Feels irresponsible. I've got shit to do, y'all. Also, I like doing things. I want to get my tasks for the day completed and then I want to have some time FOR ME. Frivolous time, where I do what I want. And that doesn't include sleeping. Especially not with a baby starfish who manages to take up 90% of my bed WHEN SHE'S NOT EVEN TWO.

Why is she still in my bed, you ask? Please refer back to waking up half the night to nurse. I could night wean her, but from my limited attempts, I can already tell that this is going to be a particularly awful brand of utter and complete hell. If I can roll over and nurse her and dose off, SO much better than getting out of bed to actually nurse her and put her somewhere else. I'm lazy!
But my freaking god, I would cut someone for 8 uninterrupted, non-bed-hogged hours.

1 comment:

Sara said...

Hope you get some sleep soon. With my two so close in age, I felt like it was 4 years before I got more than 4-6 hours sleep at night. Actually, if I think about it, I'm averaging 6 hours on a regular basis with my current work schedule. And I wonder why I've been cranky.