So a few minutes ago, I was bitching to Shane about this cover from OK! Magazine:
And I told him that there was NO FUCKING WAY that someone who is 5'4" and gained 55lbs with her pregnancy could be rocking a bikini like that 8 weeks after having her baby...especially after having admitted to losing only 25lbs.
His response was that he didn't really care, and he didn't know why I did.
I care because it's bullshit, to put it plainly.
First of all, the normal weight to gain during your pregnancy is somewhere between 25-35lbs. At least seven pounds of that is maternal fat stores. As in, straight up fat. The rest is varying degrees of baby stuff, like placenta, baby, amniotic fluid, extra blood, et cetera. And, surprise! Even after you deliver, you're not usually just 7 pounds over your former weight. Because even if you gained everything perfectly, it takes your body awhile to readjust from nine months of baby baking. Basically, the same reason you're an emotional nutcase after birth is the reason you're not insta-skinny.
Anyways, Kendra gained 55 pounds. So, probably, oh...at least 27 pounds of that was straight fat. She lost 25. Her baby was nine pounds. You picking up what I'm putting down here? Most of what she's lost is what ANY woman would be down by at 8 weeks postpartum, because by 8 weeks, your body has adjusted to some extent. So a 5'4" woman with (I'll be generous) at least 20 extra pounds of straight fat looks like that in a bikini?
So, why does it matter again?
It matters because women are judged on how they look. We all know it, there's no need to sugarcoat it. So why saddle them with an impossible post baby ideal? Because it sells magazines? That's a bullshit reason. It sells magazines because poor foolish people are picking that up going, "How the hell did she...oh! Diet tips! I can do this too!"
But you can't. Even if you are someone who lost all the weight in 8 weeks, unless you're like Heidi Klum, who spent her entire pregnancy eating exceptionally well, exercising, and generally taking supernaturally good care of herself while resuming post pregnancy working out and dieting 4.2 seconds after giving birth, you're still not usually in bikini condition 8 weeks later. You've probably *just* resumed working out (if you've bothered to at all.) Your skin is stretched out, you're stretch mark laden, your muscle tone is lessened and you're not feeling too awesome about yourself anyways. Then OK Magazine and Kendra come along and imply that if you're not in tip top shape again, you're obviously not doing something right.
It's depressing, ridiculous, and utter nonsense.
And not only is it bad for the self image and esteem of new moms, but it also gives new dads pretty unrealistic expectations.
Because let's look at things in reality here. He may love you and think you're gorgeous no matter what. Your relationship is built on way more than looks, anyways. But that doesn't stop men from being visual creatures. And most men will admit (not to you, probably) that they worry that, post-baby, their partner won't be as sexy. It's not because men are assholes, and I'm not trying to imply that at all. It's not sexist or mean or wrong. It's a common fear, and one men are entitled to. And the misconception that someone can look like a damn Playboy model again with some simple diet tricks 8 weeks post baby without even losing all the weight they gained probably makes some men a little disconcerted at the fact that their chick is still running around in maternity jeans.
Let me just end this by saying I'm not usually a person who bitches about Photoshopped stars. If you're looking at a model in a magazine and honestly thinking she looks like that in real life, well, you probably need a reality check anyways. But it's one thing to tweak and hide flaws and another entirely to redo someone's entire damn body and market it to women who are already self conscious from a very natural event that very naturally changed their bodies.
So, fuck yourselves, OK! Magazine. And double fuck you, Kendra Wilkinson, because by now you know how difficult it can be to lose baby weight, and you still think it's ok to sell an ideal YOU can't even be to the women of America. Shame on you.