To My Friends,
I am still the same person. I have not become a Stepfordian wife shell carrying a baby with no fun or interesting-ness left. Please remember that.
I talk about being pregnant. I do. It's my last kid, my last experience, and I'm enjoying it. I don't, and won't, apologize for that. I've listened to you all blather on about new jobs and boyfriends...it's the same dame, in essence. But my life doesn't center 100% around my pregnancy, nor have I stopped being the same person I always was. My currently occupied uterus doesn't make me less Star. I'm not barefoot in a kitchen eating ice cream and pickles bitching about cankles or something. I'm not running around, trying to convert people to a state of knocked-up-ness because it's just so awesome. Please. I think we all know I'm an attention whore, and, frankly, you'd just be stealing away time that should be spent being in awe of *my* fetus, duh. ;p
The only thing I can't do, in my current state, is drink a bunch. Oh, and eat sushi. Seriously, I could more understand the not eating sushi as friendship death than drinking, though. Sushi is some good shit, yo. But everyone knows I act like a moron with or without a high blood alcohol content. Just ask Shane, Liss, or Amanda...they can for sure attest to that!
Basically, what I'm getting at here is that, since I became pregnant, some of you barely speak to me. And it sucks. If it were reversed, I wouldn't ignore you. So don't do that to me. Especially since I'm overly hormonal. Jesus, that's a recipe for disaster. Do you *want* some lame voicemail after some lame Hallmark card about friendship makes me remember that we used to have one? Pfft. Hell no you don't.
And if you're mad about the sushi, let's go to a Hibachi grill. Compromise rocks!