Thursday, November 5, 2009

Oh noes!!!! Gay marriage will ruin everything!!!!!

Here are the reasons I get against gay marriage and why I think they re utterly absurd:

Gays are unnatural.
Seriously? First of all, homosexual behavior has been recorded...and not always admonished...throughout the ages. And, what, exactly, is unnatural? Gay men do it in the ass. So do many straight people I know. Many, many straight people. Hell, some straight guys even get off on having things in their ass. True story, I have at least three friends whose significant others love that shit. And lesbians? They use dildos, fingers, tongues....hmmmm, just like straight people! In fact, men, if you're NOT using your mouth on your woman, you should maybe think about how only 30% of women can climax from vaginal penetration. Just saying.

Gay marriage can't produce children, which is the point of marriage, after all.
Yeah? Maybe you should tell childless couples that. Some people want nothing to do with procreation. And some can't have children. Should they be forced to divorce? Didn't think so. And why does marriage always have to produce kids? We're overpopulated, folks. We don't need any help here. Gay people not having kids may be keeping us from running out of room to move, lol. And can't gay people adopt? Which leads me to....

Gay couples, if given children, will ruin the child's life, and also, turn them gay.
No, they won't. Sorry. First of all, in a society where most people only want to adopt non-minority babies with no health or mental issues, we should be applauding anyone who will provide for a child that isn't "perfect." Single people who can afford it, gay people...anyone who is proven to be fit (and sexual orientation should have NOTHING to do with that unless there is some sort of warranted concern that the individual could be a child molester or something. And straight people are just as likely to be fucked up, disgusting people like that as gay people are. That's why there are processes to go through before you adopt. To screen out those people.) As far as raising gay kids, there's simply no correlation. Straight parents produce gay kids, gay people can raise straight kids. It's not sociological. And ruining the kid's life? Pffft. Kids get teased for anything anyone can tease them for. Unless every parent on Earth models themselves into a model with just enough intelligence and a just nice enough home, they will, at some point, be a source of embarrassment to their child. And, honestly, probably even then.

Isn't that kind of a moot point by now?

What's the divorce rate now? One in every three marriages? And let's look at other shining examples of how sanctified marriage is. Britney Spears got hitched in Vegas for fifty five hours as essentially, a drunken joke. People go on TV to marry millionaires that they've known eleven seconds. In non-public marriages, adultery happens pretty regularly. Yup, sure seems to me like straight people are doing an AWESOME job with the whole marriage thing. Awesome. Yet, these people screwing with the sanctity of marriage...we let them get married and even REmarry. Whaaaaaat????

Gay marriage will make people gay.
This one is right. The other day, a lesbian was near me, and I suddenly had the urge to go down on a chick.

Get real.

Gay people being married won't make your wife suddenly want her aerobics instructor. It won't make your husband start hitting on the postman. Straight people will stay straight, gay people will stay gay. And if you're bi, that won't change, either.

People will want to marry animals,'ll be a gateway to horrible behavior!
No, it won't.

Any fool gets that marriage is two consenting adult humans. Because it's a CONTRACT. Minorities and animals can't be contractually bound. That's not going to change. It's common sense. It's like the gateway drug argument. Know what? In my day, waaaayyyyy before kids and real adulthood, I smoked a fuck of a lot of pot. Like, a LOT. Never did anything else. Because weed is not a gateway drug. Just like gay marriage is not a gateway to anarchy.

Kids need male and female role models. Gay marriage will confuse them!
Kids do need male and female role models. But just like in single parent households, someone else...a relative, neighbor, or teacher, perhaps....becomes that role model. And it won't confuse kids. Kids are smart, and they have no preconceived notions of things like adults do. So they're totally fine with pretty much anything you explain to them. It just requires that explanation. But once they have it, their natural open mindedness makes everything work just fine.

Gay marriage will change society!

Gay couples already exist. They're here, they're queer, you should be over it. It's not like homosexuality is a closely guarded secret.

My religion prohibits gay marriage.
Your religion doesn't have a lock on marriage.

People in places that have never heard of your God have hitched themselves to each other. Straight atheists get married, straight pagans get married, straight agnostics get married. Since this country is not a theocracy, you have no leg to stand on, demanding that people can't get married because of your God. But, just for fun, know what else people once said was against God? Giving blacks equal rights, giving women equal rights, allowing interracial marriage, ending segregation. Seems to me "it's against God" is an awfully easy thing to say to camouflage prejudice.

Individual churches should do as they see fit. But legislation shouldn't be based on that.

Civil unions are JUST AS GOOD as gay marriage.
Civil unions are a fancy way of segregating gay marriage from regular marriage. Which is insulting and disgusting. It's the SAME mindset as separate but equal black schools, stores, et cetera. Segregation ending for black people seemed to some like the end of the world. It hasn't caused the Apocalypse. Neither will this, I assure you.

I'd also like to point out, as a side note, that less people are bothering to get married. Places where gay marriage is allowed have seen an economic boost in the wedding profession.

And, finally, the whole "states should decide" argument.

States have historically never ever been effective in deciding civil rights issues. Ending of slavery, equal rights for women, desegregation, equal rights for minorities...none of those really took off on a state level. It required federal legislation. Know why? Because the majority of Americans are too busy freaking out over idiotic things like I listed above to think, "Well, they're people in love. Some marriages will work, some won't, but whether I agree with it or not, it's pretty much a basic American right to get married. (Pursuit of happiness, anyone?) They're adults, and whether I have prejudices there or not, it's not my call. If it's against my God, He'll deal with it with them. I need to worry about me."


Harmony said...

First off I should start, I'm ALL for gay marriage. You'll probably read the following rant, and think that I'm not. But I think it is narrow minded of people to limit the "joys" of marriage. I also think that whether gay or straight there should be no fines or penalties to marry (like on my taxes every year). Also as always, I'm picking on some random YOU, not you personally! :-)

Getting married is not a right, it is a privilege. We no longer have true unfuckable rights in this country. That is a reason for the states to use the power THEY have. This should be a majority decision (like everything, that's the whole democracy thing at its best). If the majority doesn't want it, then it goes against what the people want. This country was based on the principal that YOU get to chose what happens, not the federal government. If the gay community (and those that agree with the principals) truly banned together in every state they should easily be able to pass State level laws to approve of this, like they have in a few states. I don't understand the principal that because DC thinks that something should happen the rest of the population is forced to play along, no matter the topic at hand.

And please don't try to re-bring up the slavery issue; which had little to do with people's right and more to do with a class warfare between north and south white men. In Rome and Greece homosexuality while popular and favored amongst many never gained population approval as a legit way to live your daily life. Romans thought is was great to have a fuck buddy of the same sex, but they didn't marry. I think that should have been allowed to, but that's the closest that you are going to find that is comparable to the US system of government.

And I'm probably sure I used the wrong form of principal and I'm to tired and lazy to double check. As for other abuses on the English language I apologize, as always!!

-Jenna- said...

*sigh of relief* ... After all the things I've seen this week pop up on Facebook and the web, this was a relief to read.

EXCELLENT post, Star.

Star said...

Atina: Getting married is a privilege that, oh, everyone who isn't gay and is consenting gets. I would imagine that most people who are against gay marriage would tell you that it is their unassailable right, given by Jesus and God in the Garden of Eden when they married Adam and Eve (yeah, not even close to joking there, or making fun....people have told me that. More than once.)

This country was based on people not wanting to pay high taxes to people who had nothing to do with their country, Atina. Don't over-glamorize it. It's true. And, hey, bully for them. But the majority of people didn't even get the chance to vote for a long ass time, or be at all included in anything to do with the government. You had to fit an awful lot of qualifications.

The issue of slavery may have been a class one, yes, but if you don't see how enslaving another human is a blatant civil rights issue, I'm not sure what to tell you. The motives behind injustice or the release of injustice don't have to be civil rights related for something to be a civil rights issue.

As far as the state thing, that would be ok...if people weren't being given misleading information by campaigns directed as scaring people into submission. Look up almost anything Prop 8 related. So much money and so many scare tactics were poured into making that happen. Seriously, it made it seem like children were being defiled by everything gay and the only way to save them was by voting for Prop 8. It was ridiculous. When there are hugely powerful, moneyed groups throwing everything they have at something, when preachers become political pundits, when scare tactics are used instead of facts, average, barely informed people can't possibly make an informed civil rights decision. I think everyone should be informed, and fact check things, and research. But I'm a minority there. There are a lot of parallels to segregation here. That was wrong, and so is this. If a majority of people in the state voted that you couldn't be agnostic, that you HAD to go to church and be, say, a Baptist, would that be ok with you? Would it be fair? Because a majority wanted it, it'd be kosher? Hell no. And that's the thing, with civil rights issues. It's the ignorance of what is perceived as a majority making choices that stomp on the rights of others. And, again, you can't call marriage anything but a right when every other adult member of society gets the option.

As far as the Greek/Roman thing, et cetera, I never said it was a marriage issue, just that it wasn't new and wasn't necessarily frowned upon in history. Although I imagine if we wanted to, we could find examples of handfasting or something marriage like between same sex couples. I honestly wasn't trying to draw that parallel, though.

And stop apologizing for your grammar, jerk.

And thanks, Jenna. :)

Harmony said...

Star, check your facebook email. cause Blogger is being a bitch and won't let me copy and paste. Of course its a long one. Would you expect less from me?? Dear lord please tell me you didn't take offense. I'm always paranoid I'm gonna to make that one comment that will make you bitch slap me. Or maybe I shouldn't send the email, aahh well its been a while since I've been bitch slapped... oh yea. :-)

I have so few people who will let me banter and not get pissed! :-)