Here are the reasons I get against gay marriage and why I think they re utterly absurd:
Gays are unnatural.
Seriously? First of all, homosexual behavior has been recorded...and not always admonished...throughout the ages. And, what, exactly, is unnatural? Gay men do it in the ass. So do many straight people I know. Many, many straight people. Hell, some straight guys even get off on having things in their ass. True story, I have at least three friends whose significant others love that shit. And lesbians? They use dildos, fingers, tongues....hmmmm, just like straight people! In fact, men, if you're NOT using your mouth on your woman, you should maybe think about how only 30% of women can climax from vaginal penetration. Just saying.
Gay marriage can't produce children, which is the point of marriage, after all.
Yeah? Maybe you should tell childless couples that. Some people want nothing to do with procreation. And some can't have children. Should they be forced to divorce? Didn't think so. And why does marriage always have to produce kids? We're overpopulated, folks. We don't need any help here. Gay people not having kids may be keeping us from running out of room to move, lol. And can't gay people adopt? Which leads me to....
Gay couples, if given children, will ruin the child's life, and also, turn them gay.
No, they won't. Sorry. First of all, in a society where most people only want to adopt non-minority babies with no health or mental issues, we should be applauding anyone who will provide for a child that isn't "perfect." Single people who can afford it, gay people...anyone who is proven to be fit (and sexual orientation should have NOTHING to do with that unless there is some sort of warranted concern that the individual could be a child molester or something. And straight people are just as likely to be fucked up, disgusting people like that as gay people are. That's why there are processes to go through before you adopt. To screen out those people.) As far as raising gay kids, there's simply no correlation. Straight parents produce gay kids, gay people can raise straight kids. It's not sociological. And ruining the kid's life? Pffft. Kids get teased for anything anyone can tease them for. Unless every parent on Earth models themselves into a model with just enough intelligence and a just nice enough home, they will, at some point, be a source of embarrassment to their child. And, honestly, probably even then.
It will RUIN the SANCTITY of MARRIAGE!!!!
Isn't that kind of a moot point by now?
What's the divorce rate now? One in every three marriages? And let's look at other shining examples of how sanctified marriage is. Britney Spears got hitched in Vegas for fifty five hours as essentially, a drunken joke. People go on TV to marry millionaires that they've known eleven seconds. In non-public marriages, adultery happens pretty regularly. Yup, sure seems to me like straight people are doing an AWESOME job with the whole marriage thing. Awesome. Yet, these people screwing with the sanctity of marriage...we let them get married and even REmarry. Whaaaaaat????
Gay marriage will make people gay.
This one is right. The other day, a lesbian was near me, and I suddenly had the urge to go down on a chick.
Gay people being married won't make your wife suddenly want her aerobics instructor. It won't make your husband start hitting on the postman. Straight people will stay straight, gay people will stay gay. And if you're bi, that won't change, either.
People will want to marry animals, children...it'll be a gateway to horrible behavior!
No, it won't.
Any fool gets that marriage is two consenting adult humans. Because it's a CONTRACT. Minorities and animals can't be contractually bound. That's not going to change. It's common sense. It's like the gateway drug argument. Know what? In my day, waaaayyyyy before kids and real adulthood, I smoked a fuck of a lot of pot. Like, a LOT. Never did anything else. Because weed is not a gateway drug. Just like gay marriage is not a gateway to anarchy.
Kids need male and female role models. Gay marriage will confuse them!
Kids do need male and female role models. But just like in single parent households, someone else...a relative, neighbor, or teacher, perhaps....becomes that role model. And it won't confuse kids. Kids are smart, and they have no preconceived notions of things like adults do. So they're totally fine with pretty much anything you explain to them. It just requires that explanation. But once they have it, their natural open mindedness makes everything work just fine.
Gay marriage will change society!
Gay couples already exist. They're here, they're queer, you should be over it. It's not like homosexuality is a closely guarded secret.
My religion prohibits gay marriage.
Your religion doesn't have a lock on marriage.
People in places that have never heard of your God have hitched themselves to each other. Straight atheists get married, straight pagans get married, straight agnostics get married. Since this country is not a theocracy, you have no leg to stand on, demanding that people can't get married because of your God. But, just for fun, know what else people once said was against God? Giving blacks equal rights, giving women equal rights, allowing interracial marriage, ending segregation. Seems to me "it's against God" is an awfully easy thing to say to camouflage prejudice.
Individual churches should do as they see fit. But legislation shouldn't be based on that.
Civil unions are JUST AS GOOD as gay marriage.
Civil unions are a fancy way of segregating gay marriage from regular marriage. Which is insulting and disgusting. It's the SAME mindset as separate but equal black schools, stores, et cetera. Segregation ending for black people seemed to some like the end of the world. It hasn't caused the Apocalypse. Neither will this, I assure you.
I'd also like to point out, as a side note, that less people are bothering to get married. Places where gay marriage is allowed have seen an economic boost in the wedding profession.
And, finally, the whole "states should decide" argument.
States have historically never ever been effective in deciding civil rights issues. Ending of slavery, equal rights for women, desegregation, equal rights for minorities...none of those really took off on a state level. It required federal legislation. Know why? Because the majority of Americans are too busy freaking out over idiotic things like I listed above to think, "Well, they're people in love. Some marriages will work, some won't, but whether I agree with it or not, it's pretty much a basic American right to get married. (Pursuit of happiness, anyone?) They're adults, and whether I have prejudices there or not, it's not my call. If it's against my God, He'll deal with it with them. I need to worry about me."