Thursday, May 13, 2010

I'm like a superhero. Except crazier.

Or maybe the hormones are just a good excuse for the fact that I'm just nuts? It's possible.

Anyways, folks, it's been an interesting couple of days.

I should mention that I've been in the middle of some really stressful events that require a lot of manual labor for a 9 months pregnant chick, and we are not amused. This could be contributing to my psychosis.

Basically, I am the Incredibly Pregnant Hulk. And I will explode on your ass if you piss me off.

Probably the best thing to do would be to sequester myself from everyone on the planet til this kid pops out, but that's not really an option.

Let me give you an example of my insanity. As some of you may know because I whined about it on Facebook, Facebook was taunting me today with these ads. They were ads for Kansas City. Inexplicably, these ads contained some of the most amazingly delicious looking cupcakes I have ever seen in my life. Cupcakes that looked so good that I wanted to lick the screen of my monitor. These ads were making me literally do nothing for 5 minutes at a time but stare and think, "Jesus, why don't I have a cupcake? Could I bake some, they wouldn't come out that good, I'm not that talented. I could *buy* some, no, no, the cupcakes at the store aren't that good, either." It was not conducive to doing anything.

Then I realized that you can click "x" on the side of ads and make them go away.

Ha! I thought smugly. Screw you, cupcake ads!

And I victoriously clicked X.

If you click X on an ad on Facebook, Facebook gets very concerned. So they ask you why you clicked X.

Since "these cupcakes were too delicious looking and pissed me off" wasn't an option, I clicked other. And silly, silly Facebook gave me a little box to post what "other" meant to me.

Bad move, Facebook.

I'm not certain what the advertising team at Facebook will do/say when they get this gem back:
"I clicked X because those cupcakes were destroying my soul with their deliciousness. You see, I am hugely pregnant, and actually overdue, and seeing those cupcakes made me want one with a desperation usually only discussed in soap operas or Twilight fan fiction. However, all the ad says is some vague crap about Kansas City. Wtf? You don't even say WHERE I should get these cupcakes. And also I can't drive to Kansas City this pregnant. What if I went into labor? And! These cupcakes were probably made with HFCS *and* slave chocolate, so they'd probably be awful for me, nutritionally and morally."

I was going to write more examples, but that's probably the funniest. Well, that and when I went off on my friend Summer's BIL. But I really have to be productive now, on account of how the cupcakes seduced me into laziness earlier, so I'll have to tell that one another time.

End note: If you need someone bitched out, I'll happily do it right now. It might not make any sense. But I will. Spots are quite limited, though, as I won't be this hormonally insane forever.

We hope.


Summer said...

Drew and I are erecting a statue in your honor in our front yard.

I can't effing WAIT for the next inlaw family reunion!!!!!!

Susie said...

I <3 what you said to Facebook. Damn them and their cuppycake teasing!
I sure hope Miss Keira decides to make her appearance soon. My C Section wasn't NEAR as bad as yours seemed to be, but I would much rather have a vaginal birth. (I'm not saying 'natural', bc I'd prob go for the epidural, as I am a super sissy.) I hope everything goes well for you *hugs*