Grenade by Bruno Mars is the dumbest song ever.
Seriously. Why is this one of the top songs right now? WHY?!? It's cheesy crap, y'all, AND IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A GOOD BEAT.
And the lyrics...oh, the lyrics.
Here's the chorus:
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same
Ok, first of all, thanks for catching that grenade for me and all, Bruno, but if you just stand there holding the presumably live grenade you just caught for me, don't we both just blow up? So now we're both dead. Awesome. Next time, knock the grenade away, or throw it back, or something. But you can't. Because you're dead. And where does Bruno Mars live, exactly, that live grenades are being tossed around?
Secondly, throwing your hand on a blade isn't that impressive. I've cut my hand before and lots of things suck worse than a clean cut to the hand. Like paper cuts. Bunches of them. And then swimming in the ocean. That would be torture. Also, I had a paper cut on my tongue the other day, and that sucked.
Now jumping in front of a train...what situation would this possibly be necessary in? Is some guy with a handlebar mustache tying me to the tracks? Is that what's going down here? Or am I just randomly standing in the path of a train? In either of those cases, removing me from the tracks would make more sense than jumping in front of it, Bruno. FFS, do you have a death wish?
Blah, blah, blah...more nonsense...and then we end with "but you won't do the same!" No, Bruno, I won't commit pointless suicide or cut my hand for you. Sorry. Go watch Twilight and root for Jacob or something, emo kid.
I would also like to point out that this is on an album called Doo-Wops and Hooligans. I can't even make that shit up. Just...no.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
If you're not pissed off, you're not paying attention
I know a lot of Republicans. Several of them are friends and family that I dearly love. I disagree with most of them quite often.
But we shouldn't disagree about the horrible effects that this new budget the House has proposed will have on America.
Much has been published about a few things that the House has cut in their "60 billion dollar cuts!!!!" But most people are just talking about one or two things. Here's a list of some of the worst parts of the House budget:
*Dismantles the ability to roll out health care reform
I know, I know, many of you have issues with HCR. But hear me out on this. Insurance companies and employers have already begun to amend some things for the roll out of HCR (which the nonpartisan CBO said in an updated assessment that repealing the healthcare law would actually drive up federal deficits by $210 billion by 2021 and leave 22 million more Americans without health insurance.) So, basically, you have a program that has begun suddenly stopping. What yu will see is rising costs and lower coverage, folks. That will occur. And there will be nothing to check it. Good times.
*No funding for Planned Parenthood
Planned Parenthood is NOT an abortion services provider. PP's services only entail about 3% of their business. Honestly, I heard more discussion of abortions at my ob/gyn while pregnant than I ever did at PP. What they do provide, however, are birth control, STD testing/treatments, pap smears, resources for raped women, infertility testing...the list actually goes on and on. Especially to the millions of uninsured Americans, Planned Parenthood is incredibly important.
*A 10% cut in WIC
WIC is a supplemental nutrition program for pregnant women, infants and children. Unlike food stamps, which cover any cold food item you wish, WIC seeks to help people make healthy choices. Nutrition counselling is provided. Food items given through checks are healthy ones like whole grain breads, cheese, milk, beans, fruits and vegetables. WICs also provide breastfeeding support to nursing, low income mothers. This is HUGE - lactation consultants are very pricey, generally women see one once in the hospital and then can't any more because most insurance programs don't cover them. WIC encourages local offices to have an IBCLC on staff and, pretty soon, will be REQUIRING offices to have at least a peer counselor available to talk to prenatal women about the importance of breastfeeding and help them with issues or refer them to others who can that they can afford. WIC also gives and rents breastpumps to working moms who wouldn't be able to afford them otherwise. I can't even begin to tell you how many women tell me that WIC saved their breastfeeding relationship. And, yes, WIC provides formula too. As a mom who had to supplement with her first for a variety of reasons, and had absolutely not budgeted in formula because she only planned to breastfeed, that was a lifesaver.
*Head Start/Early Head Start cuts by 15% PLUS expiration of ARRA funds
Head Start is something that I truly cannot speak highly enough about. It's literally the only early childhood education program for lower income families that has the quality of a private preschool. Head Start is mandated to have a certain amount of staff slots held by degreed teachers; they provide balanced meals to the children; the kids watch no TV, they are actively engaged in learning...the list goes on and on. My daughter goes to Head Start and she has blossomed in so many ways; socially, developmentally, etc. Head Start also reserves slots for children with disabilities and children who are homeless. Early Head Start covers birth to age 3, and, let me tell you - if I had to work and couldn't take Keira, that is the ONLY non-family environment that I would feel comfortable leaving her in. These cuts will mean that ove 200,000 children nationwide will lose their seats. Families will lose their daycare; teachers will lose their jobs.
*K-12 Education - cuts of about 2.1 billion dollars
This is explained really well in this article. Basically, I hope you had no lofty aspirations of your kids having decent schooling under the GOP, because it ain't happening.
*Pell Grants - 24% cuts
Hey! I have a great idea! Let's go ahead and cut funding for higher education in a shit economy when non degreed jobs are closing down in droves or going overseas! Yay! Great plan! Oh! And let's continue cutting it from 2014 on, because no one really need education except rich people. And it's totes not our fault if you're poor, Americans. Yeah, even you, 18 year old. You SHOULD HAVE BEEN BORN IN A WEALTHIER FAMILY.
Other things on the chopping block include weatherization programs, energy assistance programs, the FDA, the EPA, vo-tech and adult education and many, many, many more.
And let's talk about the job impacts of all of this one more time. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE THINGS BEING CUT WILL MEAN JOB CUTS. Job cuts in a crappy economy where unemployment is sky-high and places close down daily. The weatherization program, for instance, keeps contactors working in winter months. The Republicans were supposed to help fix this - yet Boehner said that if jobs were lost "so be it."
So be it?!?!? SERIOUSLY??!?!?!?!?!? Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit.
This is not acceptable. At all.
But we shouldn't disagree about the horrible effects that this new budget the House has proposed will have on America.
Much has been published about a few things that the House has cut in their "60 billion dollar cuts!!!!" But most people are just talking about one or two things. Here's a list of some of the worst parts of the House budget:
*Dismantles the ability to roll out health care reform
I know, I know, many of you have issues with HCR. But hear me out on this. Insurance companies and employers have already begun to amend some things for the roll out of HCR (which the nonpartisan CBO said in an updated assessment that repealing the healthcare law would actually drive up federal deficits by $210 billion by 2021 and leave 22 million more Americans without health insurance.) So, basically, you have a program that has begun suddenly stopping. What yu will see is rising costs and lower coverage, folks. That will occur. And there will be nothing to check it. Good times.
*No funding for Planned Parenthood
Planned Parenthood is NOT an abortion services provider. PP's services only entail about 3% of their business. Honestly, I heard more discussion of abortions at my ob/gyn while pregnant than I ever did at PP. What they do provide, however, are birth control, STD testing/treatments, pap smears, resources for raped women, infertility testing...the list actually goes on and on. Especially to the millions of uninsured Americans, Planned Parenthood is incredibly important.
*A 10% cut in WIC
WIC is a supplemental nutrition program for pregnant women, infants and children. Unlike food stamps, which cover any cold food item you wish, WIC seeks to help people make healthy choices. Nutrition counselling is provided. Food items given through checks are healthy ones like whole grain breads, cheese, milk, beans, fruits and vegetables. WICs also provide breastfeeding support to nursing, low income mothers. This is HUGE - lactation consultants are very pricey, generally women see one once in the hospital and then can't any more because most insurance programs don't cover them. WIC encourages local offices to have an IBCLC on staff and, pretty soon, will be REQUIRING offices to have at least a peer counselor available to talk to prenatal women about the importance of breastfeeding and help them with issues or refer them to others who can that they can afford. WIC also gives and rents breastpumps to working moms who wouldn't be able to afford them otherwise. I can't even begin to tell you how many women tell me that WIC saved their breastfeeding relationship. And, yes, WIC provides formula too. As a mom who had to supplement with her first for a variety of reasons, and had absolutely not budgeted in formula because she only planned to breastfeed, that was a lifesaver.
*Head Start/Early Head Start cuts by 15% PLUS expiration of ARRA funds
Head Start is something that I truly cannot speak highly enough about. It's literally the only early childhood education program for lower income families that has the quality of a private preschool. Head Start is mandated to have a certain amount of staff slots held by degreed teachers; they provide balanced meals to the children; the kids watch no TV, they are actively engaged in learning...the list goes on and on. My daughter goes to Head Start and she has blossomed in so many ways; socially, developmentally, etc. Head Start also reserves slots for children with disabilities and children who are homeless. Early Head Start covers birth to age 3, and, let me tell you - if I had to work and couldn't take Keira, that is the ONLY non-family environment that I would feel comfortable leaving her in. These cuts will mean that ove 200,000 children nationwide will lose their seats. Families will lose their daycare; teachers will lose their jobs.
*K-12 Education - cuts of about 2.1 billion dollars
This is explained really well in this article. Basically, I hope you had no lofty aspirations of your kids having decent schooling under the GOP, because it ain't happening.
*Pell Grants - 24% cuts
Hey! I have a great idea! Let's go ahead and cut funding for higher education in a shit economy when non degreed jobs are closing down in droves or going overseas! Yay! Great plan! Oh! And let's continue cutting it from 2014 on, because no one really need education except rich people. And it's totes not our fault if you're poor, Americans. Yeah, even you, 18 year old. You SHOULD HAVE BEEN BORN IN A WEALTHIER FAMILY.
Other things on the chopping block include weatherization programs, energy assistance programs, the FDA, the EPA, vo-tech and adult education and many, many, many more.
And let's talk about the job impacts of all of this one more time. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE THINGS BEING CUT WILL MEAN JOB CUTS. Job cuts in a crappy economy where unemployment is sky-high and places close down daily. The weatherization program, for instance, keeps contactors working in winter months. The Republicans were supposed to help fix this - yet Boehner said that if jobs were lost "so be it."
So be it?!?!? SERIOUSLY??!?!?!?!?!? Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit.
This is not acceptable. At all.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Bieber and Palin and Bachmann oh my.
Ahhhh Justin Bieber.
First of all, I want to preface this blog by saying that I'm totally neutral on the Biebs. I don't have the fever, but I don't hate him. He seems like a pretty normal 16 year old kid, which in itself is saying something, since half the world wants to fall at his feet and weep. So whatever. The only time I really ever remember he exists is when something reminds me. A song on the radio, a commercial...a scandal...
This week, Rolling Stone (desperately trying to stay edgy and relevant) published an interview with the Biebs, in which they asked him all about his opinions on health care, abortion and gays. Because, you know, every 16 year old has great, informed opinions on those things. And then all hell broke loose.
Nonsense I've read about Justin Bieber's opinion on abortion this week includes:
"I'm boycotting Justin now. I just can't like someone who is so anti-choice."
"Justin Bieber has set back reproductive rights."
"Justin Bieber shouldn't even get an opinion on abortion!"
"Justin Bieber is oppressing women!'
Ok, first of all, let's talk about what Justin actually said. I have the magazine right here in my hot little hands (I got a free subscription, don't hate) and he says, "I really don't believe in abortion. I think [an embryo] is a human. It's like killing a baby." When asked about rape, he says, "Um. Well, I think that's just really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don't know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven't been in that position, so I wouldn't be able to judge that."
Alright, hysterical folks. Let's talk about this for a second. Justin Bieber is allowed to have an opinion, even on abortion, even though he's young and probably quasi dumb as all 16 year olds are. And this isn't a horrifyingly anti-choice opinion. Yes, he doesn't like it, but who cares? He also seems to sort of see some grey area, which is a lot more than most adults I know. And he's very Christian, which doesn't always go hand in hand with pro-choiceness. For a Christian kid, his ideas are actually fairly liberal.
Why does it even matter, anyways? He's not a politician. He's a fucking pop star. When the Biebs gets on the Supreme Court, I'll worry that he's a little more conservative in his views than me. Until then, whatev. I'm actually more horrified that he thinks the moon landing might be a hoax than that he's not all for abortion.
And on to more quasi celebrity news.
Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann are pissing me clean the fuck off. I don't give a shit how much they hate Obama. But let's stop acting like incredibly huge, overly privileged asshats. Women shouldn't be able to claim tax exemptions on pumps because it'll turn us into a nanny state? What. The. Fuck. And Palin, who has been all about how she nursed in the past is suddenly like a breastfeeding opponent because Obama is for it. FFS, are we 10, ladies? The Obamas don' t have cooties, and I didn't see anyone bitching about Laura Bush campaigning for literacy. Let's just stop acting like insane douchebags and focus on real issues instead of quibbling over breastfeeding. And, Republicans - please stop giving these hysterical bitches the right to make all of you look like morons. Find some intelligent women to represent you and distance yourself from these fools.
In totally unrelated news, I am a busy mofo. Work, full time school, a sick kid and a breastfeeding campaign launch...I've got a LOT going on. Thank god, Shane is being a champion and helping SO much this week. I couldn't do it without him. I am very lucky to have him and I can't wait to marry him.
First of all, I want to preface this blog by saying that I'm totally neutral on the Biebs. I don't have the fever, but I don't hate him. He seems like a pretty normal 16 year old kid, which in itself is saying something, since half the world wants to fall at his feet and weep. So whatever. The only time I really ever remember he exists is when something reminds me. A song on the radio, a commercial...a scandal...
This week, Rolling Stone (desperately trying to stay edgy and relevant) published an interview with the Biebs, in which they asked him all about his opinions on health care, abortion and gays. Because, you know, every 16 year old has great, informed opinions on those things. And then all hell broke loose.
Nonsense I've read about Justin Bieber's opinion on abortion this week includes:
"I'm boycotting Justin now. I just can't like someone who is so anti-choice."
"Justin Bieber has set back reproductive rights."
"Justin Bieber shouldn't even get an opinion on abortion!"
"Justin Bieber is oppressing women!'
Ok, first of all, let's talk about what Justin actually said. I have the magazine right here in my hot little hands (I got a free subscription, don't hate) and he says, "I really don't believe in abortion. I think [an embryo] is a human. It's like killing a baby." When asked about rape, he says, "Um. Well, I think that's just really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don't know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven't been in that position, so I wouldn't be able to judge that."
Alright, hysterical folks. Let's talk about this for a second. Justin Bieber is allowed to have an opinion, even on abortion, even though he's young and probably quasi dumb as all 16 year olds are. And this isn't a horrifyingly anti-choice opinion. Yes, he doesn't like it, but who cares? He also seems to sort of see some grey area, which is a lot more than most adults I know. And he's very Christian, which doesn't always go hand in hand with pro-choiceness. For a Christian kid, his ideas are actually fairly liberal.
Why does it even matter, anyways? He's not a politician. He's a fucking pop star. When the Biebs gets on the Supreme Court, I'll worry that he's a little more conservative in his views than me. Until then, whatev. I'm actually more horrified that he thinks the moon landing might be a hoax than that he's not all for abortion.
And on to more quasi celebrity news.
Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann are pissing me clean the fuck off. I don't give a shit how much they hate Obama. But let's stop acting like incredibly huge, overly privileged asshats. Women shouldn't be able to claim tax exemptions on pumps because it'll turn us into a nanny state? What. The. Fuck. And Palin, who has been all about how she nursed in the past is suddenly like a breastfeeding opponent because Obama is for it. FFS, are we 10, ladies? The Obamas don' t have cooties, and I didn't see anyone bitching about Laura Bush campaigning for literacy. Let's just stop acting like insane douchebags and focus on real issues instead of quibbling over breastfeeding. And, Republicans - please stop giving these hysterical bitches the right to make all of you look like morons. Find some intelligent women to represent you and distance yourself from these fools.
In totally unrelated news, I am a busy mofo. Work, full time school, a sick kid and a breastfeeding campaign launch...I've got a LOT going on. Thank god, Shane is being a champion and helping SO much this week. I couldn't do it without him. I am very lucky to have him and I can't wait to marry him.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
A Call for Sanity In Activism
As many of you know, yesterday came with an epic win - the return of The Leaky B@@b's Facebook page - and then an epic loss mere hours later. Not only was The Leaky B@@b page removed again, but so was the Bring Back the Leaky B@@b page. (Please note: if you are new to this story, go here for some background.)
Immediately, there was the normal backlash against Facebook. And that was normal, and expected. We should keep in mind, though, that most likely, it was not a human being at Facebook who took the page down at 10pm. More likely, it was the automated system, tripped because of other people, for whatever reason, reporting The Leaky B@@b as offensive. Mark Zuckerberg is not sitting in an office cackling and deleting breastfeeding pages because he has nothing better to do with his time.
Does that make things right? Absolutely not. And, as Jessica Martin-Weber, creator of The Leaky B@@b, has pointed out, it is indicative of a larger problem - Facebook's "delete until proven innocent" stance and the inability to be exempted if you are operating a page that has certain terminology but nothing of a sexual nature on it. (For more, please read Jessica's press statement.)
Since this is what's going on, clearly we should be doing things to ensure that Facebook changes that, right? ...Right????
Except that's not what's happening.
Overnight, angry lactivists have started seeking out and reporting other groups "because they're more offensive than breastfeeding!!!" (I want to make it VERY CLEAR HERE that Jessica Martin-Weber has NOT called for this to occur. This action is not sanctioned by anyone involved with creating or maintaining the Leaky B@@b or its online community. They should not be held responsible for these actions.) I won't list the fanpages that were reported here, but I will say that while they were raunchy in some cases, they were generally not containing nudity and were usually just silly, immature things that people had "liked." Many of them contained women in bras or bikinis. There was even a call - again, NOT from Jessica - for everyone to report Playboy at the same time so THAT page would be crashed.
This is bullshit, guys, and it's got to stop.
First of all, we all find different things to be offensive. I'm offended by Pajama Jeans and Cami Secrets, but you have the right to wear them. No two people reading this blog can probably agree on what is and is not offensive right now. And, guess what? It doesn't matter what I find offensive. I am a grown woman, and I can choose to not look at things that offend me. As long as something doesn't involve the abuse of someone else and it is involving people who are over 18, I don't really get to sit on my high horse and cast judgment on the masses. Sorry, but it's true.
Secondly, breasts have a dual function. I talked about this in my last blog post, but I'm gonna talk about it again. I have pictures on my profile at Facebook of me nursing my kid - and I have pictures of me with epic cleavage in the Victoria's Secret Miraculous bra. Neither one, to me, is offensive. I'm an adult, I posted those pictures, they convey different messages, yet they are both acceptable. A friend of mine has a burlesque company and posts pictures of her ladies and herself clad in their awesomely hot costumes. Another friend is a photographer and sometimes takes risque pictures. And yet another photographer friend has wrapped maternity pictures. I see nothing wrong with any of those things, but some of you may find them offensive. And that's whatever. Again, your right to have those opinions, and your right to not look.
The Facebook policy of deleting until proven innocent started as a way for people to get pages investigated that seriously did have adult content. Or abusive things. Or child porn. It has, because people are douchebags, morphed into "If I find it offensive, NO ONE ELSE HAS THE RIGHT TO SEE IT!" And that sucks. You don't actually get to sanitize the world around you to your specifications, folks.
And, finally, allow me to point out that if you're reporting pages and encouraging others to, and they aren't actually against Facebook's standards, you are just as much of an asshole as the people reporting The Leaky B@@b. Yup, pot, you're black. Just because breastfeeding is morally loftier to you than ogling boobs doesn't make you right. You're still a douche. The end.
Now, after that bit of tough love, here's how you can actually help the Leaky B@@b - no reporting involved!
Send an e-mail or call a local TV station or newspaper. Tell them about what's going on. Ask them to pick up the story. Provide links to The Leaky B@@b and the press release.
Join Jessica's new page, Join TLB in support of Women's Health and the new Bring Back the Leaky Boob...again page (run by my friend Atina, who is a rockstar.)
Tweet, share, blog about them, about the situation.
Contact Mark Zuckerberg on his page.
Write to internet media sources and encourage them to run with the story.
Petition pro-bfing celebrities like Jenna Elfman, Kourtney Kardashian, Helena Bonham Carter, and Christina Aguleria to make a statement.
Call Facebook and urge them to reinstate the page and also to rethink their policy of instantly removing reported pages. 650-543-4800
I also asked Jessica to send me any ideas she has, so if and when she does, I shall post them here.
Immediately, there was the normal backlash against Facebook. And that was normal, and expected. We should keep in mind, though, that most likely, it was not a human being at Facebook who took the page down at 10pm. More likely, it was the automated system, tripped because of other people, for whatever reason, reporting The Leaky B@@b as offensive. Mark Zuckerberg is not sitting in an office cackling and deleting breastfeeding pages because he has nothing better to do with his time.
Does that make things right? Absolutely not. And, as Jessica Martin-Weber, creator of The Leaky B@@b, has pointed out, it is indicative of a larger problem - Facebook's "delete until proven innocent" stance and the inability to be exempted if you are operating a page that has certain terminology but nothing of a sexual nature on it. (For more, please read Jessica's press statement.)
Since this is what's going on, clearly we should be doing things to ensure that Facebook changes that, right? ...Right????
Except that's not what's happening.
Overnight, angry lactivists have started seeking out and reporting other groups "because they're more offensive than breastfeeding!!!" (I want to make it VERY CLEAR HERE that Jessica Martin-Weber has NOT called for this to occur. This action is not sanctioned by anyone involved with creating or maintaining the Leaky B@@b or its online community. They should not be held responsible for these actions.) I won't list the fanpages that were reported here, but I will say that while they were raunchy in some cases, they were generally not containing nudity and were usually just silly, immature things that people had "liked." Many of them contained women in bras or bikinis. There was even a call - again, NOT from Jessica - for everyone to report Playboy at the same time so THAT page would be crashed.
This is bullshit, guys, and it's got to stop.
First of all, we all find different things to be offensive. I'm offended by Pajama Jeans and Cami Secrets, but you have the right to wear them. No two people reading this blog can probably agree on what is and is not offensive right now. And, guess what? It doesn't matter what I find offensive. I am a grown woman, and I can choose to not look at things that offend me. As long as something doesn't involve the abuse of someone else and it is involving people who are over 18, I don't really get to sit on my high horse and cast judgment on the masses. Sorry, but it's true.
Secondly, breasts have a dual function. I talked about this in my last blog post, but I'm gonna talk about it again. I have pictures on my profile at Facebook of me nursing my kid - and I have pictures of me with epic cleavage in the Victoria's Secret Miraculous bra. Neither one, to me, is offensive. I'm an adult, I posted those pictures, they convey different messages, yet they are both acceptable. A friend of mine has a burlesque company and posts pictures of her ladies and herself clad in their awesomely hot costumes. Another friend is a photographer and sometimes takes risque pictures. And yet another photographer friend has wrapped maternity pictures. I see nothing wrong with any of those things, but some of you may find them offensive. And that's whatever. Again, your right to have those opinions, and your right to not look.
The Facebook policy of deleting until proven innocent started as a way for people to get pages investigated that seriously did have adult content. Or abusive things. Or child porn. It has, because people are douchebags, morphed into "If I find it offensive, NO ONE ELSE HAS THE RIGHT TO SEE IT!" And that sucks. You don't actually get to sanitize the world around you to your specifications, folks.
And, finally, allow me to point out that if you're reporting pages and encouraging others to, and they aren't actually against Facebook's standards, you are just as much of an asshole as the people reporting The Leaky B@@b. Yup, pot, you're black. Just because breastfeeding is morally loftier to you than ogling boobs doesn't make you right. You're still a douche. The end.
Now, after that bit of tough love, here's how you can actually help the Leaky B@@b - no reporting involved!
Send an e-mail or call a local TV station or newspaper. Tell them about what's going on. Ask them to pick up the story. Provide links to The Leaky B@@b and the press release.
Join Jessica's new page, Join TLB in support of Women's Health and the new Bring Back the Leaky Boob...again page (run by my friend Atina, who is a rockstar.)
Tweet, share, blog about them, about the situation.
Contact Mark Zuckerberg on his page.
Write to internet media sources and encourage them to run with the story.
Petition pro-bfing celebrities like Jenna Elfman, Kourtney Kardashian, Helena Bonham Carter, and Christina Aguleria to make a statement.
Call Facebook and urge them to reinstate the page and also to rethink their policy of instantly removing reported pages. 650-543-4800
I also asked Jessica to send me any ideas she has, so if and when she does, I shall post them here.
Monday, January 3, 2011
A Love Letter to My Closest Ladies
Dear Boobs,
Thank you for being so cool in so many ways.
When I was younger, I so wanted to have a set of you, and I didn't even really know why. You were just so intriguing. You took your sweet time bothering to show up, but you eventually came.
Throughout the years, I dressed you in leopard prints and lace and sometimes boring beige. We went through a lot together, and I always maintained that you were pretty freaking awesome. In fact, you've even been my nickname before - proof positive that you ladies have way more fame than I do.
When my first child was born, you were a source of amazement and anguish. You did your job for 14 months, and then went back to the high life, clad in Victoria's Secret and being totally sexy.
Now, you're a working set again, and you spend a lot of time nourishing a baby. But you don't complain, and you do such a fantastic job. From seven pounds to seventeen, that was all you, ladies. You are miraculous like that.
But I still see you as sexy, too, when you don't have a baby latched to you. You're still rockstars, and you still get second looks.
Love, me
...And in a segue...
that's the issue I sometimes have with breastfeeding advocacy. "Boobs are for babies! Stop sexualizing breasts, America!!!!!"
Well...
Breasts are baby feeding tools AND sexual devices. They are. I can be a hot sexy lady and a nursing mom. Women aren't confined to one particular role - neither are our body parts. The dual function of breasts doesn't mean I should have to cover up, or that people should be offended. It means that damn, boobs are awesome. Fun for the whole family! Lol.
So today, this is my big giant YAY to boobs. Whether they're small boobs or big boobs, nursing boobs or cleavage-y boobs, boobs in a turtleneck or boobs in a string bikini - boobs are great. We should recognize that they can have duality and appreciate everything they are and can be. Don't try to box the ladies in. Embrace them for everything they are.
Thank you for being so cool in so many ways.
When I was younger, I so wanted to have a set of you, and I didn't even really know why. You were just so intriguing. You took your sweet time bothering to show up, but you eventually came.
Throughout the years, I dressed you in leopard prints and lace and sometimes boring beige. We went through a lot together, and I always maintained that you were pretty freaking awesome. In fact, you've even been my nickname before - proof positive that you ladies have way more fame than I do.
When my first child was born, you were a source of amazement and anguish. You did your job for 14 months, and then went back to the high life, clad in Victoria's Secret and being totally sexy.
Now, you're a working set again, and you spend a lot of time nourishing a baby. But you don't complain, and you do such a fantastic job. From seven pounds to seventeen, that was all you, ladies. You are miraculous like that.
But I still see you as sexy, too, when you don't have a baby latched to you. You're still rockstars, and you still get second looks.
Love, me
...And in a segue...
that's the issue I sometimes have with breastfeeding advocacy. "Boobs are for babies! Stop sexualizing breasts, America!!!!!"
Well...
Breasts are baby feeding tools AND sexual devices. They are. I can be a hot sexy lady and a nursing mom. Women aren't confined to one particular role - neither are our body parts. The dual function of breasts doesn't mean I should have to cover up, or that people should be offended. It means that damn, boobs are awesome. Fun for the whole family! Lol.
So today, this is my big giant YAY to boobs. Whether they're small boobs or big boobs, nursing boobs or cleavage-y boobs, boobs in a turtleneck or boobs in a string bikini - boobs are great. We should recognize that they can have duality and appreciate everything they are and can be. Don't try to box the ladies in. Embrace them for everything they are.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Hey, hey, ho ho...Why Facebook (might) have to go...
I was all set to finish up this great blog I've been tweaking here and there on breastfeeding myths this morning. And then I decided to check Facebook from my phone this morning. And my morning instantly became a little more irritable.
Some last night, you see, Facebook removed the fan page for The Leaky B@@b.
The Leaky B@@b is a support site for breastfeeding mothers. They can get on there, commiserate, ask questions, et cetera. There are forums for The Leaky B@@b, but most people honestly used the fan page instead. It was close, no need to log into another site. And it was a community. And a generally respectful one where people encouraged you and didn't judge you (mostly) if you needed to supplement with formula or if you were getting ready to quit because you just couldn't do it for whatever reason. Sure, the ladies there would try to talk you down...but ultimately, if that was what you had to do, they wouldn't blackball you and taunt you or tell you how if you were them, you would totally have succeeded because of blah blah blah.
First of all, you have no idea how rare that is in a parenting community. Usually, oneupmanship there is a blood sport (as my friend Summer wonderfully put it.) Secondly, breastfeeding support is a HUGE hurdle for breastfeeding moms. Most don't have it, or don't have enough of it. The numerous studies showing a need for breastfeeding support is literally why I have a job.
Facebook, however, seems to loathe breastfeeding. Because they blindly delete breastfeeding pages/photos/etc ALL. THE. TIME. The Leaky B@@b is the latest in a looooong list of casualties. Facebook's official stance is that, hey, they love breastfeeding, you just can't show nipple. Except that they regularly remove breastfeeding pictures, even when they DON'T show anything. If you call them on it, they may or may not bother reinstating them. It really depends on their whims. Yet pictures from S&M scenes can be easily found on Facebook - half-naked underaged teens can be found on Facebook - you can find pro-ana, pro-mia, holocaust denial groups, and, every once in awhile, pro-pedophile groups. This is all totes fine to Facebook. But breastfeeding? Well, not so much.
So here's where I stand. I am a passionate breastfeeding supporter. This is the work I do, and what I plan to continue doing. I am a peer counselor, and, as of October, should be an IBCLC. I boycott Nestle, and a large part of the reason is the horrible practices that have that put the smackdown on breastfeeding. Yet here I sit, on Facebook, while calling myself a breastfeeding activist and supporter, while they tear down seemingly everything aimed at helping women to do something that WHO, the AAP, the White House and the Surgeon General all agree that more of us really, really need to do for a plethora of seriously important reasons. And so I sort of feel like I'm eating a Crunch bar while telling a woman in a third world country that Nestle is awful and their formula will hurt her baby. I feel like a huge, hypocritical jerk.
If Facebook quickly reinstates TLB, I'll probably stay on. But even then, I will be awaiting the social networking site that does to Facebook what it did to MySpace. Eagerly. And hopefully they won't be such douches.
For those of you interested in helping get The Leaky B@@b back on Facebook, you can join this page and you can let Facebook know how ridiculous they are being through Mark Zuckerberg's page. You can write in to appeals@facebook.com and tell them how you feel, too! PLEASE NOTE: IF YOU DECIDE TO TAKE ACTION, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES BE A JERK IN YOUR COMMUNICATIONS! Everyone who has had an account reinstated says that you get a MUCH better response by being polite and factual.
Some last night, you see, Facebook removed the fan page for The Leaky B@@b.
The Leaky B@@b is a support site for breastfeeding mothers. They can get on there, commiserate, ask questions, et cetera. There are forums for The Leaky B@@b, but most people honestly used the fan page instead. It was close, no need to log into another site. And it was a community. And a generally respectful one where people encouraged you and didn't judge you (mostly) if you needed to supplement with formula or if you were getting ready to quit because you just couldn't do it for whatever reason. Sure, the ladies there would try to talk you down...but ultimately, if that was what you had to do, they wouldn't blackball you and taunt you or tell you how if you were them, you would totally have succeeded because of blah blah blah.
First of all, you have no idea how rare that is in a parenting community. Usually, oneupmanship there is a blood sport (as my friend Summer wonderfully put it.) Secondly, breastfeeding support is a HUGE hurdle for breastfeeding moms. Most don't have it, or don't have enough of it. The numerous studies showing a need for breastfeeding support is literally why I have a job.
Facebook, however, seems to loathe breastfeeding. Because they blindly delete breastfeeding pages/photos/etc ALL. THE. TIME. The Leaky B@@b is the latest in a looooong list of casualties. Facebook's official stance is that, hey, they love breastfeeding, you just can't show nipple. Except that they regularly remove breastfeeding pictures, even when they DON'T show anything. If you call them on it, they may or may not bother reinstating them. It really depends on their whims. Yet pictures from S&M scenes can be easily found on Facebook - half-naked underaged teens can be found on Facebook - you can find pro-ana, pro-mia, holocaust denial groups, and, every once in awhile, pro-pedophile groups. This is all totes fine to Facebook. But breastfeeding? Well, not so much.
So here's where I stand. I am a passionate breastfeeding supporter. This is the work I do, and what I plan to continue doing. I am a peer counselor, and, as of October, should be an IBCLC. I boycott Nestle, and a large part of the reason is the horrible practices that have that put the smackdown on breastfeeding. Yet here I sit, on Facebook, while calling myself a breastfeeding activist and supporter, while they tear down seemingly everything aimed at helping women to do something that WHO, the AAP, the White House and the Surgeon General all agree that more of us really, really need to do for a plethora of seriously important reasons. And so I sort of feel like I'm eating a Crunch bar while telling a woman in a third world country that Nestle is awful and their formula will hurt her baby. I feel like a huge, hypocritical jerk.
If Facebook quickly reinstates TLB, I'll probably stay on. But even then, I will be awaiting the social networking site that does to Facebook what it did to MySpace. Eagerly. And hopefully they won't be such douches.
For those of you interested in helping get The Leaky B@@b back on Facebook, you can join this page and you can let Facebook know how ridiculous they are being through Mark Zuckerberg's page. You can write in to appeals@facebook.com and tell them how you feel, too! PLEASE NOTE: IF YOU DECIDE TO TAKE ACTION, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES BE A JERK IN YOUR COMMUNICATIONS! Everyone who has had an account reinstated says that you get a MUCH better response by being polite and factual.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
My kids are perfect and yours suck
There's a dirty little secret of the mommy world. It's not secret if you're a mom. But others seem to be blissfully oblivious.
Step a little closer, though, and I'll share. Ready?
Moms are HUGE assholes. Competitive, horrible bitches that will make you want to kill them and/or yourself on a daily basis.
Oh, of course, not all moms are this way. But there are an awful lot of them. And be prepared, because they will do everything possible to make you feel like shit. And they are everywhere.
Example: I read this comment today on a post about scheduling c-sections or inductions for tax purposes. Do I think this is a good idea by any means? No. For a plethora of reasons I won't even start to get into. But here's what Anonymous Internet Bitch Mom thought -
"Well, women in developed countries are so uneducated about their bodies and birth anyway, what do you expect from a country with such a high c-section rate. I have never known of anyone who had a c-section for any reason that wasn't selfish or stupid."
And then there are the comments on breastfeeding posts. Here are two lovely examples:
"It's disgusting to breastfeed in public. These women are just attention whores. That's what bottles are for. I would proudly tell off a woman nursing in public, I have kids, they don't need to see PORN when we go out."
"Breastfeeding is a BIRTHRIGHT. I struggled for months to nurse. Every baby is entitled to breastmilk, and every mom should have to provide it. If your job doesn't accommodate breastfeeding, maybe it's time to find a new job."
Or the great circ debate:
"If you don't circ your boy, when he goes to high school and gets laughed at and has lasting psychological issues, it'll be all your fault for not doing what you were supposed to to his penis. Uncirc'd penises are gross and they are smelly."
"If you circ your boy, you have participated in genital mutilation. You should be arrested."
And don't even get me started on vaccines, diapering, or - GASP - occasionally eating fast food. You might as well just kill your child now and save them the slow death they will face from chemicals/obesity/autism/cancer/toppled over Happy Meal toys. It's the humane thing to do.
FFS, THIS SHIT HAS GOT TO STOP.
Look, I get it. Raising your child is one of the most important things you do in life. And you have such a brief window to turn them into a decent, caring, humane person. There's this wonderful being in your care and it's your job. It's all you. What if you fuck up? How tragic will that be? No one wants to be the mom of the serial killer or the drunkard or the asshole. We all want to raise cheerful, healthy, functional members of society. Ones that hopefully never have plaque and learn from the mistakes we once made.
But we can't save them from everything.
True story: your kid will have a broken heart. They will have times where they are mean, or selfish, or screw up epically. They will refuse to learn from your mistakes. They will believe they are impervious to danger or injury. They will stop thinking that you are the wonderfully perfect person with all the answers who can solve every problem that they have. They will likely be a sullen moody teen eventually. There's not a damn thing you can do to stop it.
But what we can stop is making every other mother out there feel like shit if they do something differently than we do. We can keep our judgments - because, yeah, we'll still have them; we're not perfect - to ourselves. We can stop assuming that everyone who does anything differently than us is uneducated and abusive. In fact, we can start caring more about preventing true abuse rather than shoving our choices down everyone else's throat as smugly as possible. When we do feel the need to educate, we can do it gently, knowing that once, this was probably foreign to us, too.
We can be nicer, better, more supportive people. We can do it in part for our kids. Because no one wants their child to grow up to be the competitive dickhead parent that everyone else loathes. But if that's what the learn from you, that's what they will become. That or a nun, after deciding to rebel as much as possible. One of those.
And at the end of the day, your love and support and time will be important to your child. Not how you birthed them, or how you fed them in the first few years, or whether they were in cloth diapers or if they occasionally had a HFCS laden soda.
And if your kid turns out less screwed up than the really trashy one from Teen Mom or any of the cast members of the Jersey Shore, you have succeeded. ;P
Step a little closer, though, and I'll share. Ready?
Moms are HUGE assholes. Competitive, horrible bitches that will make you want to kill them and/or yourself on a daily basis.
Oh, of course, not all moms are this way. But there are an awful lot of them. And be prepared, because they will do everything possible to make you feel like shit. And they are everywhere.
Example: I read this comment today on a post about scheduling c-sections or inductions for tax purposes. Do I think this is a good idea by any means? No. For a plethora of reasons I won't even start to get into. But here's what Anonymous Internet Bitch Mom thought -
"Well, women in developed countries are so uneducated about their bodies and birth anyway, what do you expect from a country with such a high c-section rate. I have never known of anyone who had a c-section for any reason that wasn't selfish or stupid."
And then there are the comments on breastfeeding posts. Here are two lovely examples:
"It's disgusting to breastfeed in public. These women are just attention whores. That's what bottles are for. I would proudly tell off a woman nursing in public, I have kids, they don't need to see PORN when we go out."
"Breastfeeding is a BIRTHRIGHT. I struggled for months to nurse. Every baby is entitled to breastmilk, and every mom should have to provide it. If your job doesn't accommodate breastfeeding, maybe it's time to find a new job."
Or the great circ debate:
"If you don't circ your boy, when he goes to high school and gets laughed at and has lasting psychological issues, it'll be all your fault for not doing what you were supposed to to his penis. Uncirc'd penises are gross and they are smelly."
"If you circ your boy, you have participated in genital mutilation. You should be arrested."
And don't even get me started on vaccines, diapering, or - GASP - occasionally eating fast food. You might as well just kill your child now and save them the slow death they will face from chemicals/obesity/autism/cancer/toppled over Happy Meal toys. It's the humane thing to do.
FFS, THIS SHIT HAS GOT TO STOP.
Look, I get it. Raising your child is one of the most important things you do in life. And you have such a brief window to turn them into a decent, caring, humane person. There's this wonderful being in your care and it's your job. It's all you. What if you fuck up? How tragic will that be? No one wants to be the mom of the serial killer or the drunkard or the asshole. We all want to raise cheerful, healthy, functional members of society. Ones that hopefully never have plaque and learn from the mistakes we once made.
But we can't save them from everything.
True story: your kid will have a broken heart. They will have times where they are mean, or selfish, or screw up epically. They will refuse to learn from your mistakes. They will believe they are impervious to danger or injury. They will stop thinking that you are the wonderfully perfect person with all the answers who can solve every problem that they have. They will likely be a sullen moody teen eventually. There's not a damn thing you can do to stop it.
But what we can stop is making every other mother out there feel like shit if they do something differently than we do. We can keep our judgments - because, yeah, we'll still have them; we're not perfect - to ourselves. We can stop assuming that everyone who does anything differently than us is uneducated and abusive. In fact, we can start caring more about preventing true abuse rather than shoving our choices down everyone else's throat as smugly as possible. When we do feel the need to educate, we can do it gently, knowing that once, this was probably foreign to us, too.
We can be nicer, better, more supportive people. We can do it in part for our kids. Because no one wants their child to grow up to be the competitive dickhead parent that everyone else loathes. But if that's what the learn from you, that's what they will become. That or a nun, after deciding to rebel as much as possible. One of those.
And at the end of the day, your love and support and time will be important to your child. Not how you birthed them, or how you fed them in the first few years, or whether they were in cloth diapers or if they occasionally had a HFCS laden soda.
And if your kid turns out less screwed up than the really trashy one from Teen Mom or any of the cast members of the Jersey Shore, you have succeeded. ;P
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)